I'm in awe of intelligent people. The knowledge they possess, the problems they are able to solve...astounding. I am not an intelligent person. While reading the Cinco De Mayo page on Wikipedia yesterday my head started to spin. After muscling my way to the end, all I got out of it was that there was a battle somewhere in Mexico a long time ago, and somehow the French were involved. However while I am not intelligent, I do understand a couple of things. One of those, is that people who are intelligent, and the intelligent person domain of technology, continue to fail the rest of us in so many ways, that you would need one of their smarty pants mathematical formulas to calculate the figure.
The vast array of topics falling under the 'short comings of technology' umbrella constitute about a third of my daily tirades so it's safe to assume the subject will have a prominent role on this blog page. My bone of contention with technology today? It's heretofore colossal ineptitude at making us comfortable in our own skin.
1. Tattoos
"It's a Strong Flower because, well my Grandma just passed, and she always called me her little flower, and she was a strong woman so to honor her I got this picture of what I call a Strong Flower tattooed on my forearm with the Latin words for Strong Flower in cursive around my wrist." In its own way, a very sweet, meaningful gesture. Still, at thirty the woman who got that tattoo at nineteen may come to understand that she has honored her grandmother's memory by becoming a powerful, independent, loving woman and mother herself, and that maybe the "Strong Flower" tattoo is, at that point in her life, a little silly. Technology's current solutions should she seek its removal are woefully limited. Lights, lasers, special reverse inks, and the patch of skin will still be far from its pre tattooed condition? They're kidding right? Are we still hunters and gatherers? Obviously great minds are working hard on this now as the need for skin "re-canvasing" is becoming a more common situation, but come on. Progress should be much further along.
2. Skin Tone and Body/Facial Hair
As I said above I am not intelligent. Another thing I'm not...handsome. In fact I am Traditionally Unhandsome. Some hallmarks of this classic look are shockingly pale skin and enough back hair to knit a Christmas scarf. Fortunately I am the only human being on the planet dissatisfied with their complexion and hair situation. I sleep better at night knowing no one else in the Human Family has to suffer similarly. It's a tremendous weight off my shoulders to know there aren't BILLIONS of other people with the same exact concerns. Everyone else enjoys tanning salons and shaving, and waxing, and spending thousands of dollars on laser treatments, and the feeling of having hair in places where they don't want it, when they don't want it there, or not having it in places where and when they do. I'm the only one with that complaint, so you're right Technology, keep turning a deaf ear. Forgive me for forgetting who the smart one is.
I mean, MIT and Stanford are still in business right? An android should be typing this right now while I contemplate the universe in a transcendental state from the comfort of my hover mattress. Instead I have to go now because I need to spend half an hour shaving my face with a sharpened piece of metal and a bowl of hot water like a Mesopotamian sheep herder. You haven't heard the last of me Technology. I assure you.
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