Barbara in Cleveland, You're On The Air

     Too much on my mind today, and my attention span is paying the price.  That means the usual three loosely related paragraphs I would normally write require far too much concentration.  I have to go Larry King style.
     - The Kentucky Derby is hard to think about in any terms outside of Onion headlines.  "Impending Knee Cappers' Strike Sends Derby Betting To Record High", "Archarcharch Wins Derby, Tells Stunned Reporters He Plans On Throwing Hat Into 2012 Republican Primary, "Derby Attendees Show Shockingly Little Concern For Economy, Poor In General" and so on.  You have to love The Onion.
     - I don't know where Ibiza is, but I do know it doesn't rhyme even remotely with Africa.  I'm a fan of J-Lo's.  I've watched The Cell and Maid in Manhattan countless times.  But I just can't give her a pass on that one.
     - Went to the first communion of the son of a good friend of mine this morning.  It kind of warmed my heart to see all the Alternative Life Style Uncle Bruces and Ex-Con Cousin Chucks and all the other godless heathen interlopers like myself put on uncomfortable clothes and go sit in uncomfortable pews for an hour to pay respect to something greater than ourselves.  It reminded me, why despite all my anger and cynicism, I actually love being alive.  I'm not even going to make fun of the fact that the priest, while making the analogy between the body of christ and other food that is "good" for us, mentioned more than once that his favorite fruit is the banana.  I have to remember that not everyone in the world spends the bulk of their existence setting up or knocking down punchlines.
     - Fired up the lawn mower and showed the grass blades who their God is for the second time in as many weeks.  I actually like mowing the lawn these days.  Sign I'm getting old.
     - Matters of the heart tend to be too complicated.
     Alright, so really only the last comment was done in true Larry King style.  It takes a media icon to state the obvious with authority.  I miss Larry King on TV.  Sure, like everyone else I rarely watched his show for more than five minutes every few weeks, but I derived a great deal of comfort knowing he was there.  Piers Morgan has a quality, but I'd be very surprised if television has heard the last of Mr. King.